Recently I have been feeling like I am stuck in Groundhog Day. Every day the same thing. Wake up, work, and look after my daughter and my house. rinse and repeat. I wanted a change. I wanted not just any change, but a change that is not only beneficial to me in the short run but in the long run.
And I have been doing many things in the spur of the moment, like going on day trips and trying new foods. But, although, I felt good at the moment I wanted more. I wanted it to last.
My daughter is a teenager, and just like the majority of teenagers, her moods change a bit too often for my liking LOL. Sometimes she agrees with me to go places, and sometimes she blatantly refuses. So when she refuses, I feel stuck at home. I have to find something else to do, although I simply want to have a walk along the canal or in the park. So I have decided to start going out, weather permitting, without her. Now to me, this is a huge step outside of my comfort zone. So far, we have been doing these things together. I love taking walks with her and having really good relaxed conversations. Walking always helps us to communicate more easily. It could be the fact that we are not sitting and we, usually are at a place not so close to home. I love our day trips and now I might have to let them go and replace them with day trips on my own. And it feels scary.
And this is the point I am trying to make. The unknown seems scary. We stay stuck in the same-day routines because just like Kylie Minogue sings “Better the devil you know”. But is it really?
We are constantly bombarded with “Take a leap of faith”, “Go outside of your comfort zone”, and “Try something new”, like it is the easiest thing to do. We know trying new things and going to new places opens up our own personal world. But at the same time, we have got that little voice inside of us saying “Oh no, you will not like it. You will fail. What if….”(fill in the blank).
The issue, as I see it, is that no one tells you that having fear is perfectly normal. No one tells you what are the steps to overcome this fear. And we feel huge pressure. Exactly that pressure is the sole reason for us to retreat to our shells and convince ourselves, that we are incapable of creating long-lasting, beneficial change in our lives. But now I will give you the 3 easy steps that you can follow, and please take them one at a time and at a pace that feels comfortable to you. I know it will be a slow process in the beginning, but the more you do it, the better you will become. I promise you.
The 3 steps to create a change are:
- Initiate – this step is the easiest. It starts with the thought of what you want to do next. It could be to start drinking more water or eating less processed foods. We usually feel inspired when we decide to create change. We feel really good about ourselves and we even take the first step towards the change we desire
- Integrate – this step can be a little bit scary. Why? Because for us to create a change, we need to make space for it. This requires some change in our daily routine and finding out ways to incorporate the change. It is still an exciting step but a little bit scary. Scary because it is not only a thought or desire, but we are making it a reality. And we do not know what to expect as a change within us. “Will it be easy and how much effort will it need from me? If it is too much effort, I don’t think I will bother”. Some people give up when they hit a roadblock, so a lasting change never occurs.
- Maintain – this is the hardest and the longest step. It takes between 3 weeks and 6 months to create a new habit. Ask every dieter and they will tell you how hard it is to follow all strict rules and how they need a cheat day. What is a cheat day? The food we ate before we started the diet. But this one cheat day can easily turn into two, three, week, month, or year and we are back to square one. So we start feeling ashamed, and we beat ourselves up. We think we are not strong enough because we couldn’t find the inner strength to continue, doing whatever we wanted to do. The reason for that “fail” is because we did put too much pressure on ourselves and we didn’t give ourselves enough time to figure out what works for each one of us. Maintaining the change and gaining momentum requires time and effort. The effort, in the beginning, is huge. Have you ever tried to stop a train and change its direction? First, you need to slow down the momentum, almost stop the train, change direction slowly and then accelerate, and you are on track. This is how it works with every change we create in our lives.
If you want to create a change in your life and you need help, book your session with me
