What are limiting beliefs
Beliefs are just thoughts that we keep on thinking. We all believe in something or someone.
“If you believe that you can or believe that you cannot, you are right” Henry Ford
Beliefs are the thoughts that drive us to become a better version of ourselves or they can just keep us stuck in the rut, complaining how unfair life is. With that respect limiting beliefs are the beliefs that prevent us to become a better version of ourselves and create forward movement towards our goals and the life that we desire.
Regardless of whether we believe that we can or we cannot, we are indeed right. The reason for that is, if we believe we can, we will go after it and nothing will stop us. If we believe that we cannot, we can find 1001 excuses, why it is pointless to even bother making an attempt. It all boils down to our mindset and how we identify ourselves. Do we identify as victors or as a victim?
Who wants to live the rest of their lives feeling like a victim? I don’t think this is a conscious choice. Living like a victim is not a nice feeling and we want to feel that at least for once in our lives something good will happen to us. This is the main issue about living in a victim mindset: we cannot see the blessings that have received so far, because we are focused on the lack and we are looking to place the blame somewhere else.
Limiting beliefs that hinder your personal growth and success
- Other people MUST ALWAYS approve of me – Really? Is this even possible? I know we are used to asking for a second opinion but when it comes to our dreams and goals. But it is better if we ask only those who support us or have got more experience in that field. Once we understand that looking for other people’s approval is like chasing the wind, we can stop and begin to breathe again. A huge weight comes off our shoulders, when we realise that the only person
- I MUST please everyone – Trying to please everyone around us takes way too much energy from us. We end up feeling hopeless and exhausted at best. Different people have got different preferences. What are our chances to know how to satisfy their wants and needs? Wouldn’t it be better if we fill our cup first? Once our cup is full we can give to others our surplus, instead of surviving on fumes?
- People, who are professionals know greater things than me – while it is true that professionals know a lot about the field they have specialized in, quite often they lack knowledge and skills in other dimensions of life. I can give a very good example with doctors, that stick to what they know and do not look further than their books, nor do they ask questions, so they get the whole picture
- I shouldn’t have to feel sadness or discomfort – this belief really infuriates me. Not because of anything else but because I had it and it is painful. I believed that I had to feel happy and satisfied all the time, regardless of how sad I felt. Or the part, when in discomfort DO NOT say a word, power through it. The worst part of that belief is that bit by bit we start believing that we do not matter. We believe that our voices should not be heard. This leads to such a mediocre, emotionally painful existence….. It is sad
- I MUST succeed in all, in order to be a valuable person – another belief that was really close to my heart. I WANTED to succeed so badly, so every time I did not get that promotion or the job position….. I was beating myself so hard and calling myself an idiot, stupid, good for nothing, a failure… When all I had to do was allow myself to make mistakes and learn from them. When trying to succeed, if something doesn’t go our way, we take it really personally. We think that we are not destined to win or we even blame others for it.
- It is other people’s responsibility to ensure I am happy – no, I cannot quite claim that one. However, I have seen a lot of people who live miserable life because it is always someone else’s fault for their choices. The truth is we will have a miserable life if we are waiting for someone else to make us happy. WHY? Because we are the only ones, who REALLY know how and what makes us happy.
- My behaviours today are due to my experiences in the past – although partly true, excusing our choice of behaviour on past events is lame. Yes lame. In each and every moment we decide how we will behave. Until we stop blaming the past and start taking control over our behaviours, we are doomed to be controlled by our past. The past is in the past and it should stay there. Being in control of our behaviour requires self-awareness and emotional maturity. Everyone has got some childhood wounds but not everyone behaves like a child.
If you are struggling with limited and disempowering beliefs book a session with me
