As a mom, seeing your anxious child struggle is heartbreaking. You’ve tried everything to help them feel better – reassurance, logic, avoidance – but nothing seems to work. In fact, you may be making a common mistake that actually reinforces their anxiety.
What’s the #1 mistake anxious moms make? Trying to take away their child’s anxiety rather than teaching them to cope with it. I will explain why this approach backfires and how mindfulness techniques can help your child manage anxiety and build lifelong resilience.
Why Everything You Know About Calming Anxiety Is Wrong
Many anxious children seek constant reassurance. As a mom, your instinct is to say things like “don’t worry” or “everything will be okay.” But this sends the message that anxiety is something to fear and avoid.
Other well-meaning strategies like helping your child escape scary situations or distracting them from anxious thoughts may bring temporary relief. However, they ultimately reinforce to your child that anxiety is dangerous and they can’t handle it. Over time, their anxiety grows as they fail to develop coping skills.
The surprising truth is, some anxiety is normal and even helpful – it protects us from danger and motivates us to solve problems. The key is learning to respond to anxiety in a healthy way. That’s where mindfulness comes in.
What Is Mindfulness and How Does It Help With Anxiety?
Mindfulness means being aware of the present moment without judgment. It’s noticing our thoughts, emotions, body sensations, and surroundings with openness and curiosity. For anxious children, mindfulness is a powerful tool because it:
- Teaches them to observe worries without getting lost in them
- Engages their senses to soothe stress and ground them in the moment
- Trains their brain to focus and regulate emotions
- Builds self-awareness so they feel more in control
“Mindfulness helps balance the doom and gloom view that comes with anxiety. It trains kids to pay attention to the good things in their lives too.” – Pam Mazzuca, Ph.D.
In fact, a growing body of research shows that mindfulness literally changes the anxious brain, strengthening neural pathways involved in attention, self-regulation, and perspective. One study found regular mindfulness reduced childhood anxiety by 60%!
3 Simple Mindfulness Exercises Your Anxious Child Will Love
The great news is, mindfulness doesn’t have to be another chore or battle. These fun, kid-friendly techniques make it easy to incorporate into daily life:
1. Breathing Buddies
Have your child lie down and place a favorite stuffed animal on their belly. Encourage them to focus on the rise and fall of their “breathing buddy” as they inhale and exhale slowly. This playful exercise makes calming breaths concrete for kids.
Benefits: This simple exercise makes deep breathing concrete and fun for kids. Belly breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system, signaling the body to relax. Focusing on the breath also calms racing thoughts and grounds your child in the present moment, two key aspects of mindfulness.
With regular practice, Breathing Buddies equips your child with a portable tool to self-soothe anywhere, anytime. Imagine your child taking a deep breath and hugging their animal when they feel overwhelmed, a simple gesture that lets you know the mindfulness lesson has clicked!
2. Five Senses Scavenger Hunt
Go for a walk together and take turns finding 5 things you see, 4 things you feel, 3 things you hear, 2 things you smell, and 1 thing you taste. This sensory game focuses attention outward and connects kids to their environment.
Benefits: This sensory game serves two purposes. First, it grounds your child in the present by engaging their senses. Anxiety often thrives when we’re caught up in worst-case future scenarios or ruminating on the past. Second, it trains your child’s brain to notice the positive. An anxious mind is like Velcro for negative stimuli and Teflon for the good. Seeking out pleasant sights, sounds, textures, and tastes rewires that negative bias.
The Five Senses Scavenger Hunt is a powerful reframing tool disguised as a game. Over time, your child will naturally start to tune into the beautiful details around them rather than being hijacked by anxious thoughts. Celebrate the shift when you notice your child savoring a cool breeze or the crunch of leaves on a hike – it’s mindfulness in action!
3. Mind Movies
Have your child close their eyes and imagine their favorite calm place – maybe a beach, their bedroom, or Grandma’s house. Guide them to picture it in vivid detail, engaging all their senses. They can visit this soothing scene in their mind whenever they need a relaxing break.
Benefits: Visualization is a proven relaxation strategy. By evoking the sensations of a soothing setting, it signals safety to the body and eases the physiological experience of anxiety. It also gives the mind a positive place to land when worries intrude. With practice, your child can access their mental oasis in stressful moments as a quick reset.
Another key benefit is that Mind Movies foster your child’s sense of agency over their inner world. Anxiety can make kids feel powerless, like their thoughts and feelings are happening TO them. Directing their imagination reinforces that they have a choice in where they focus their mind and that they can shift their internal state.
Mind Movies are a favorite with my young clients. There’s something magical about harnessing the power of imagination to self-regulate. As you practice together, enjoy the precious bonding time of co-creating enchanted forests and tropical paradises. Let your child’s creativity soar – their brain will reap the soothing benefits!
At first, these exercises may feel awkward or pointless to your child. Their anxious brain will say “This is stupid” or “It’s not working.” Gently encourage them to keep practicing and praise their efforts, not perfection. Consistency is key for rewiring an anxious brain.
With Mindfulness, Your Child Can Be Calm and Confident
Teaching your child mindfulness is one of the greatest gifts you can give them. You’re not just easing their anxiety in the moment, but equipping them to handle life’s challenges with inner peace and resilience. Imagine the relief of seeing your child take a calming breath when they’re upset, rather than flying off the handle. Picture their pride as they conquer their fears one mindful step at a time.
You have the power to make that a reality. Start with one mindfulness practice a day and build from there. Notice the little victories and celebrate them together. And remember, it’s a journey – there will be bumps along the way. But you’re giving your child the tools to navigate them gracefully.
Your Turn – Which Mindfulness Practice Will You Try First?
We covered a lot of ground today, from the surprising pitfalls of common anxiety advice to the brain-changing benefits of mindfulness. You now have three fun tools in your calm-down toolkit to practice with your child.
But I know it can still feel daunting to get started, especially if your own anxiety is flaring up. The “mom guilt” voice may whisper that you’re not doing enough or that you’ll mess it up. Take a deep breath and remember: your loving presence is the most powerful intervention.
Start small and trust the process. Maybe today you guide one Mind Movie before bed. Tomorrow, you notice your child’s Breathing Buddy helping them through a meltdown. Next week, you make the Five Senses game part of your morning routine. The magic is in the little moments.
As you begin to fold these practices into your family life, know that I’m here to support you every step of the way. If you feel stuck or just want to fast-track your results, let’s hop on a free discovery call and craft your personalized mindfulness road map. Click here to schedule your session!
One calm breath at a time, you’re raising a resilient child who can weather any storm. I’m honored to be part of your journey.
As a mindfulness coach, I’ve seen anxious kids blossom with these techniques. But doing it alone can feel overwhelming, especially if you struggle with your own stress and anxiety. That’s why I created a step-by-step program to help moms like you implement mindfulness and create a more peaceful home.
Sign up now for a free discovery session and start your journey to calm, confident kids!
