Giving up. It is something we have all done in our lives. Sometimes we are grateful we did it. Other times we regret what we did.
In this article, I want to outline how to not give up, when the goal is important to us, personally.
When we set ourselves a goal and we want to achieve it, quite often we cannot predict what obstacles we will encounter. Especially in the beginning, while we are still figuring out the ins and the outs. It is difficult. Exactly during that stage, we can become discouraged and just give up. We give up because we feel overwhelmed and stressed. So we seek the easy way out of the situation.
As humans we are always on the lookout for an easy way to do things and that has led to numerous improvements in our daily life.
But what about our personal goals and our willingness to pursue them?
Here are the stages and the questions I keep on asking myself when I feel ready to give up:
Stage 1: What is behind my habit of giving up?
Question 1: Is it the fear of not being able to do something successful?
This stems from our childhood when we were told that we cannot do this or that. We have internalised it to such a degree that we identify with it.
Question 2: Is it my lack of knowledge?
Although the answer to this question might make us feel small and stupid, it is easy to fix that. There are a lot of courses and information, available at the tips of our fingers. However, the dedication to the process is a different story
Question 3: Is it because I find the work, required, overwhelming?
There could be too much work or not enough time. Or is it possible that we want instant results and we do not allow ourselves the time we need?
Stage 2: Identify one thing you can do to overcome the obstacle
Question 1: If you have a fear of being successful, what do you need to do to get rid of it?
The answers are a bucket load, but generally, boil down to working on ourselves. We need to look deep inside about what are our beliefs about successful people. Are we feeling jealous of their success? Do we feel that if we are successful we will lose people we hold dear to our hearts? Or probably we simply fear ourselves, that we might not be capable of handling the success we want.
Question 2: What do I need to learn and where can find the resources?
There are a lot of resources available to us. From online courses to documentaries and interviews with people, who are experts in that field. Reading books, listening to the experts and doing it ourselves. Learning and applying what we have learned is a fantastic way to get better.
Question 3: How can I make the work less overwhelming?
How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. And realise that an elephant cannot be eaten in one day. I know in the beginning when we look at what we have to learn and especially the skills we have to learn and improve can be overwhelming. It is good to keep an eye on the goal but it is even better to break down the process in bitesize chunks. It is just like running a marathon. One foot in front of the other
“Even a thousand miles journey starts with the first step”
Lao Tzu
Stage 3: Remember why you started doing it
Question 1: Why am I doing this?
The why is extremely important for our motivation to continue to overcome the obstacles in our way. The why is the real reason. The “How” we figure out later
Question 2: What were my initial reasons for starting to do it?
What results do I want to achieve? What are my expectations? Is it something for my self-gratification or the greater good of humanity? We need to remind ourselves about the initial reasons as they keep us focused.
If you have started something and you need to explore why you want to give up. If you want to stop the cycle of giving up and want to become more focused book your session with me
