Understanding Limiting Beliefs
Limiting beliefs are thoughts that constrain us and hold us back in life. They impact all areas, including our relationships. What are limiting beliefs and how do they form?
Limiting beliefs are thoughts like “I’m not good enough”, “I don’t deserve love”, or “Relationships never work out for me”. They place imaginary limits and lead to self-sabotage.
As bestselling author Eckhart Tolle said,
“A belief is just a thought that you’ve thought over and over again.”
Limiting beliefs come from past hurts, childhood conditioning, and societal messaging. Over time, they feel like facts.
The ego latches onto limiting beliefs. It tells us that it’s keeping us safe by holding us back. But the ego’s attempts to protect us actually just keep us small and afraid.
Once we see limiting beliefs just as repetitive thoughts, not facts, we can start to break free from them. Awareness is the first step to overcoming their grasp on our relationships.
How Limiting Beliefs Impact Relationships
Limiting beliefs act like a dark cloud over relationships, casting a shadow that keeps intimacy and connection out of reach. Here are some ways they hurt our partnerships:
Limiting beliefs cause:
- Doubt and insecurity, which leads to clinginess, jealousy, and a lack of confidence. You don’t feel secure in the relationship.
- Trouble with trust, which makes it hard to open up, be honest, and believe your partner has your best interests at heart. Everything feels like a threat.
- Inability to be vulnerable, which limits emotional intimacy and authentic sharing. You keep your partner at arm’s length.
- Attracting unsupportive partners who mirror your own beliefs about not being good enough. You end up with people who can’t meet your needs.
- Settling for unfulfilling relationships because you don’t believe you deserve better. You tolerate mistreatment or neglect.
- Self-sabotage when things get good. You subconsciously create drama or push your partner away because healthy love feels unfamiliar.
“Relationships don’t have to be so hard when you eliminate your limiting beliefs” – Dr. Erin Leonard,
psychologist. Beliefs like “I’m unlovable” or “I’m destined to be alone” become self-fulfilling prophecies.
Even when you meet a great potential partner, limiting beliefs can make you subconsciously push them away. Your ego may tell you it’s protecting you from heartbreak. But it’s actually keeping you from the love you desire.
Limiting beliefs are the key reason for a lot of struggle, when it comes to romance and intimacy. By shining a light on them, you take away their power to secretly sabotage your relationships.
Steps to Overcome Limiting Beliefs
The good news is you can free yourself from limiting beliefs and open up to fulfilling, nurturing relationships. Use these steps to break through to love:
- Identify your limiting beliefs. Notice the repetitive thoughts that make you feel incapable of happy, healthy relationships. Write them down.
Benefits – You get clarity on the subconscious beliefs holding you back. Awareness is the first step to change. - Question the beliefs. Ask yourself: Is this really true? What evidence do I have? Is this absolutely always the case in every situation? Poke holes in the limiting belief.
Benefits – You start to see your limiting beliefs are not facts, just thoughts you’ve repeated. This loosens their grip. - Replace them with positive beliefs. For each negative belief, write an empowering one like “I am worthy of love” or “I attract supportive partners”. Read them daily.
Benefits – You reprogram your mind with beliefs that support healthy relationships. What you focus on grows. - Take an aligned action. Practice vulnerability with friends. Go on dates. Let yourself receive affection. Take small risks in love and intimacy often to reinforce your new beliefs.
Benefits – You collect evidence that your new beliefs are true. Experiences cement your empowering beliefs as your new reality.
Dr. Jenny Saville noted:
“The greatest block to receiving love is the feeling of being unworthy of love.”
But once you see yourself as worthy with beliefs to match, relationships transform.
If your ego resists, remind it: “These beliefs kept me lonely long enough. I’m ready for beliefs that draw in the love I want.” Then keep taking steps forward.
Like any new habit, installing empowering relationship beliefs takes repetition. Stay conscious of your thoughts. Over time, you’ll effortlessly believe in your ability to create the relationships you desire.
Get Support on Your Journey
If you want help to uncover and release your limiting beliefs about relationships, consider working with a coach or counsellor.
I offer private online coaching sessions to give you personalized support on your journey to fulfilling relationships. With a coach, you can:
- Identify your unique limiting beliefs quickly
- Discover where they came from so you can release them fully
- Install new empowering beliefs through guided exercises and practices
- Take concrete action steps toward your relationship goals with accountability
- Transform your relationship with yourself so you can transform your relationships with others
Aa a skilled coach, I can accelerate your progress and keep you on track. You get to your desired outcome of happy, healthy relationships much faster.
If you feel called to work with me, schedule a free discovery call. We’ll explore where you are, where you want to be, and how coaching can bridge the gap.
The greatest investment you can make is in yourself and your relationships. You deserve support on the path to lasting love.
I believe you have the power to create the relationships you desire. With the right tools, beliefs, and guidance, you can make your vision of delightful partnerships a reality. Coaching gives you the extra boost you need to get there. Consider it rocket fuel for your relationships. Schedule a discovery call to learn more.
