We all have emotions. We all have feelings.
It is normal. What is not normal is the fact that we do not express all our emotions. Society’s understanding is that we should not express, i.e. our frustration or unhappiness or anything that bothers us, unless it is for the greater good, because we are seen as inadequate and unable to be emotionally mature. Even in our childhood, we have been told to stop being silly and shut up because whatever we are upset about is stupid and not important.
So from a young age, we have learnt to swallow and suppress our, so-called, negative feelings. And this is damaging. Really damaging to our psyche, body, relationships, and life…..
When we feel happy, we want the whole world to know. However, when we feel low and depressed, we hide. And this is a perfectly normal reaction. We feel wounded and we need to bounce back to feeling better. I think that we can safely make a parallel between physical health and mental health.
When our physical health is suffering we go to the chemist or doctor with hope and knowing they can help us to start feeling better. As well as we take some time off to be able to recover if it is needed.
Unfortunately, until recently, we didn’t pay enough attention to our emotional health. Probably because we never thought or knew how important it is. At the end of the day why do our feelings matter? They don’t, right? WRONG!!!
All our feelings and emotions matter
much more than we can even comprehend. I am a living example, and I believe you are too. But to be able to understand and integrate our emotions, we need to know a little bit more about them and we need to improve our self-awareness. Just like everything else in life. We need to learn and we need to practice. The more we know about a subject and practice it, the better we become. And this is one of my goals as a life coach: to help people increase their awareness and see what is preventing them to live their life fully and be fulfilled.
Firstly I would l like to talk about positive emotions. It feels good to feel good. It feels like a breath of fresh air when we feel good, especially if we have been feeling bad. When we feel good, we do not try to hide, it is rather the opposite. We want to spread joy everywhere. We do not hold back our joy and we feel good about spreading it all around us.
When we feel low, depressed, anxious, or bad, we tend to hide the way we feel. Instead of expressing and talking about our emotions, we suppressed them. We put on the happy mask and we show the world around us that we are happy and nothing can faze us. And yes, there are social or work situations, where we really have to put the mask on and not show our emotions. But once we are out of that situation, we really need to find a safe place and time and allow these emotions to run their course. We need to let these emotions out as cry, say a prayer, or do anything else that works.
I am a firm believer that we need to be able to face our emotions and feel them in full. However, this is something I have not been taught as a child and even as an adult, I had to hide my emotions, not because of anything else but because of all well-wishers.
A lot of people, who do not know why I am feeling the way I feel told me “It doesn’t matter”, “It will get better”, “You will be fine” and my favourite “Calm down”. And my thoughts are always: I know I will be fine, I know it will get better and I will calm down, but please allow me to express the way I am feeling NOW. Not the way I will feel in 10 minutes or a month’s time.
I digress, please excuse me….. but I am really passionate about this subject.
Anyway, let me get back on track.
In conclusion…..
So when we feel happy we do express our happiness. Which means we do not suppress it and that is good. However with feelings like depression, anxiety, anger, frustration, fear, stress and so on we tend to push them under the carpet, unless they are really severe, put on the mask and show up in the world. But what happens to us when we keep on suppressing them? Apart from the obvious low mood, bitchy character, self-harm or suicidal tendencies, suppressing these emotions affects our bodies too. High blood pressure, heart attacks, strokes, indigestion, and stomach ulcers, to mention just a few of the chronic ailments a lot of people suffer from.
I think it is worth investing a bit of time to check if I am right about that by doing a self-check or even reading different researches.
If you are struggling with low self-worth, anger issues, or anxiety, or you would like to explore the root cause of your mood swings book your session with me
Let me know your thoughts about the subject
