What is the Grey Rock method?
The Gray Rock Method is reducing communication with manipulative or abusive people to a bare minimum or if we have to communicate with them to do it in an uninteresting way. In the majority of cases short answers “Yes” and “No” are advisable but we should not show any feelings. This is needed to give the abuser or manipulator the impression that their words or actions do not have any effect on us and eventually, that person will leave us in peace.
Ways to apply the Grey Rock Method
- Avoiding contact as much as possible
- Keeping interactions brief whenever possible
- Communicating only facts and no feelings
- Using short answers
Adverse Effects of the Gray Rock Method
- Losing connection with yourself, your needs and your wants. This happens because you have to disconnect with yourself in order to be able to apply this method
- When you stop giving the abuser or manipulator what they want, you stop giving them their supply, they will start changing their strategy in order to turn you back to give them what they need.
- The narcissist or manipulator will become agitated, and angry. Having said that we need to remember that this phase will pass and all we have to do is endure through it
- The abuser or manipulator will discard you and this might trigger a childhood trauma or another painful experience
Why the Gray Rock method helps you deal with your ex but doesn’t heal your wounds?
Although the Gray Rock Method can help you to release yourself from the abuser, it doesn’t help you to heal your triggers and your childhood trauma. And exactly these triggers and trauma got you in that position in the first place.
The Gray Rock Method is really effective when you have to deal with a narcissist, a manipulator, or a bully but until you regain your self-esteem, self-love, and self-respect and create boundaries the danger of that experience repeating itself with another person is huge.
I have had to apply the Gray Rock Method myself quite a few times in the past with success but what I understood was, that I am prey for the predators and until I take responsibility for how I feel and conduct myself nothing will change. My life, before I healed, was different places, different faces same experience.
One of my clients was living in victim mode, and she had three really violent relationships, all with narcissists. In the end, she was exhausted and she literally hit rock bottom. Together we worked on her healing and building her self-love and self-respect. Now she is a successful businesswoman and she can spot red flags from a mile away. At the end of our sessions together she said that she cannot remember feeling so happy with herself, content and ready to start pursuing her dream to become an entrepreneur.
So if you have got an issue with low self-esteem, low self-love, low self-respect. If you are a peoples pleaser and you are ready to put in the work to turn your life around, do not hesitate to book your first session with me
